Racing against time

These past 10 days has felt like a real race against time. Somehow, when I realized it'd been 10 days since my last entry, I felt like I got nothing done in this period of time.
So here I am, sitting in my bed with my trusty laptop, enjoy the comforts at 1:25am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I got some nice relaxing tunes going on after plugging my ears with Lamb of God's Sacrament album all day. Boy it's so good yet to hard to listen to because every song is so freaking good I can't wait to be able to cover one or two of them! Would be like a dream come true. Lamb of God songs have some ridiculous drum parts if you ask me.

Everyday of this week has been a real race against time before there are so many things I want to and need to get done and it's no longer a matter of managing my time properly, I've got that down well now, but more like I need to make sure everything I'm doing tries to keep things as efficient as possible. A lot of people have told me I'm over-doing it when I even try to make my rest as efficient as possible. I know, I know, it sounds like overkill, but for example, I know I need to go out later on, and I'll need to shower before I leave the house. So during my rest, instead of sitting here for 30 minutes resting, I might as well spend some of that time showering, since showering is kind of good rest for me, not to mention it saves me 10 minutes later on when I'm getting ready to leave. Yes, now that I look at it, it is in a way overkill, but those saved 10 minutes really do add up for me, like right now, instead of it being 1:42am, it's 1:32 am :) And you all know how 10 minutes of extra snooze time early in the morning can be like hitting the jackpot.... so you see what I mean?

I still feel like I have a lot to get done before this week ends, not to mention I need to be well prepared for a meeting/presentation I have due on Friday. It's all stuff that needs to be done and it's like I know I can do it, I just have to do it! You ever have those moments when you know how to do everything but you just want to get it done already, but your limited by your human abilities (ie. concentration levels, etc.) and it frustrates you? Like on paper, I can totally see myself get everything in my to-do list completed one after another. It's mainly all labor work on my part, but it's just impossible to get done within even a 16 hour period. Wow, I'm rambling again aren't I?

Well, I've been thinking about something lately, about which is more important, the final outcome, or the journey that brought you there. If you refer to one of my first few entries "Achieving the Undefined Goal", Bruce Mau has a great quote which really does make sense. If we have a goal and work towards it, chances are we'll only achieve that goal, but if we go for the journey without knowing where it will lead, we will go to new places. In many ways, that's what every day is to me now. I don't know what might happen tomorrow, but I do know that I'm not stupid so the path I'm taking is well thought out. Sure I may not have a specific goal in sight, but at least I can trust myself enough to know I'm not just randomly stepping around without a direction. It's actually kind of hard to work without a goal in sight/mind. In a way it's kind of like going one level higher that achieving a goal. Don't confuse this with having no goal. It's like a person "breaking the rules" withot knowing the rules to begin with. When I was in university, a lot of my classmates use to use the "Break the Rules" as an excuse for their artwork. In many ways, they didn't even know what the rules were and whatever rules they did end up breaking was all just a lucky strike to be honest. So it takes one to know the rules, to really have abided by them, before he/she can properly go out of the boundries and really break these rules effectively. In the same way, it takes one to have a goal in mind, to then walk away from the maze of paths towards that goal and see the bigger picture. Wow, I'm not saying I'm some enlightened being who is seeing the world from a higher perspective, I'm just trying to justify my lack of a big goal. Actually come to think of it, I do have goals, maybe not the typical goal like "I want to get a high score" or "I want to make $40,000 a month", but more like a goal where I want to make sure what I do is building towards a greater asset -- me. After reading the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, I've become obsessed with building assets for myself that will later pay off and allow me to own liabilties (if you're confused, you really should read the book :P), I mean I keep trying to add more to my personal repertoire of what I can offer to the world, like my stand-up comedy, a continuous effort to add more and more material into my vault. My web design services have improved and I'm able to confidently offer some services I used to always be confused about. My drumming's gotten better allowing my band to play heavier songs and I'm able to keep up and add to the mood. My productivity's gotten more efficient, allowing me to reduce the amount of frustration I face and get more stuff done, and also my personal habits have become better, in the sense no more are the 6 am sleeping times for me. I enjoy my day time and I'm keeping it that way. Late nights were great to get stuff done, but the unhappy mood I used to get after a week of not seeing light used to make none of it worthwhile ;(.

In a way, my race against time is just me focusing more on my journey than the outcome. I haven 't stopped to notice how much I've gotten done because I want to keep going, which in a way keeps me satisfied because I know I'm going going going! So this time, I've taken the reverse option of not looking back, just keep going! You can look back anytime, but the moment you turn your head, you could trip, you could lose your direction and not to mention you could become big headed thinking "wow, I've done so much, I deserve a pat on the back for all this." I guess those who know my know that I'm not big on getting compliments nor am I big on giving them. I'm not a heartless guy, but more like I'm not as easy/generous with compliments as most other people. So if you get a compliment from me, know that it is very well deserved. Since I'd personaly prefer to get a well deserved compliment over a polite one any way..

Ahh 1:56am, my Day 10 entry is complete. And to compliment this, the online radio station I'm listening to is playing one of those rolling credits after a victorious win songs you'd see in movies... so I should take this as my cue to get some zz's becuse tomorrow's going to be a BIG day :P Lots of stuff to get done, so go for it!! OGGOGOGOOGGGOGOGOGO!!!!!!