03 September 2007

It's September!

Woah! It's already September 2007! In a short while it'll be my holiday and I'll be growing one year older. Man, I still remember this time last year, it was one of the sweetest birthdays I ever had where I finally felt free and ready to live! So what about this year? Well to be honest, today's been one of those days where I woke up and thought it's time I fixed myself as I feel like I've not been working in tip-top condition lately. I've been mentally exhausted to be honest.

I think I just need to stay calm and focused more often than try to do too much because each day I'm realizing it's harder and harder to accomplish the 15784589453861 things I want to get done everyday. I have to just realize that it's not so much a matter of time or money but it's my limitation as a human being that is the biggest challenge to overcome. Many mornings I find myself all charged up and confident today will be a different day where I'll have the energy to do so much, but in fact, 8 hours later I'm pretty much completely burnt out. I guess in a way it also makes me feel good that I've really tapped myself and didn't waste away any effort for the day.

I'm building up work processes for myself everyday now and it's really nice because once I get used to it all, it'll become a habit and then I can loosen up the self-discipline and let the energy of a good habit do the work. I tell you, a good habit is as strong as good self-discipline really if you set it up right. I mean, when I used to go to the gym regularly, it became a necessity rather than a chore. Of course, I stopped for a while and everything started to crumble. I was less focused and energized than before, I felt worse because I'd feel guilty for not going and then I'd look worse too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not those people who need my body to make me feel good, but it's more like I could use the additional good feeling a healthy body can give me :).

Speaking of feeling good. My air-conditioner seems to be dripping again because I think the droppings from the birds that live on it have clogged up the pipe where the water usually run through. Honestly, it is plain irritating because they do that all the damn time! It's not the first time this has happened and it's just freaking annoying because now my room is hot and well every now and then I'll feel uncomfortable and find it hard to concentrate. At the same time, it's good because hey, no one said air-conditioning was ever good for you or the environment so in a way this sacrifice is worth it. And if anything, it'll force me to learn to be more focused and disciplined under tougher conditions.

So what's today's Day 10 topic? Well I think it's the announcement of the beginning of my success. I'm still on shaky grounds, but at least I'm getting used to the shake and I'm able to learn to stabilize myself enough to see straight. Hopefully in 10 days' time the ground will stop vibrating and I'll be kicking ass! :)

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