30 June 2007

"Save the cheerleader, save the world"

That's a line from the TV show Heroes. Quite a good show, although I gave up following it after work pulled me off track with the storyline.
But it's all about collaborating and trying to save an inevitable bomb from exploding. So, um, boom.

You know, I realized this blog is more about me leaving my mark in history than it is about sharing my feelings with the world. Much like what my real passion for graffiti is. I still love seeing the bits of spray paint ink leftover in the cracks in walls that have been cleaned that once housed my graffiti work. I don't know, it just feels good to remember where you've been and where you're at now. It makes you appreciate the journey that took you here. I mean, maybe it's also my obsession with making sure i write everything down because I'm so worried about forgetting it over time, maybe it's just my needt to be able to convince myself that I did indeed get a lot accomplished in what seemed to have been an unproductive day. To all the people who know me well, you know my love for uber-productivity and my weakness for actually getting stuff done, and well we're all humans with days where nothing seems to be worth doing.

Yes, I actually don't want to do anything. It's not a matter of laziness, but more a matter of disconnect between my want and my will. I'm willing to do stuff, I know if I just force myself, I'll do it, but my want to do it isn't there. Not right now at least. I guess I should make the most of this and just enjoy the fruits of whatever I've been working at. Heck, I've come a long way baby.

I guess the hardest battle in life is when you're having it with yourself. Where it's not a matter of managing another person and getting them to get stuff done, but when you're trying to manage yourself and you just can't. Don't get me wrong, I blame only myself as this is something that only a combination of me and time can resolve. Sigh.

Anyways, I can only take this "half-glass-full" feeling as a chance to fill the glass back with something even better. But oh well, that's all in theory....(for now)

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