I'd rather burn out than fade away

I read that somewhere and it overwhelmed me completely! I love that phrase and it's my motto (for) now! To be honest, I'm really mentally exhausted, I've been out and about all day long since the moment I woke up and now it's around 1am and I can finally allow myself to stop and relax. In fact, I don't want to relax, I want to sleep, but I'm so used to late nights now from work and stuff that 1am feels like telling myself to sleep at 8pm, you just psychologically can't do it. But I'm going to try today because I need to have a full, long day tomorrow.

I think my energy levels have been going down because I haven't been doing my breathing exercises properly lately because the building renovation crew is painting the outside walls, so I don't want to be filling my lungs with the fumes from their paint. I know, I know, I could easily go to a park and get some fresh air, but when I'm out and about, I'm always on the go! I never seem to have the chance to stop!

Wow, I'm really exhausted to the point I can't even get myself to do hand drum exercises tonight! I've been kind of slacking off with drum practice lately because of all this work I have ahead of me. I don't blame laziness, I really have been busy. I have a lot of stand-up comedy performances lined up and then nerves are slowly building up because everytime I perform I want to be better than my previous show and this creates a certain level of pressure within myself. It's good pressure though, don't get me wrong, because without this, I'd never improve and I have to keep striving for excellence. I'd rather burn out than fade away :)

But on a brighter note, my lovely TD-12K drumset has arrived!! Waaaaahhooooo!! Check it out, the boxes are huge!!
Seriously, they're humongous! When I got home, I looked at them in awe and thought "Wow, poor delivery guys!" But I'm not going to allow myself to unpack them until this Sunday because I know once I open the box, I can say goodbye to the next 4 hours from the moment I break the seal. Speaking of drumming and crazy work, today is going to mark the last day I can relax. From tomorrow onwards, I have so much stuff lined up for myself it's not funny! I have to prepare for the Friday Stand-up comedy show at Champs. Then I'm having a late-night jam session with my band which means 12am onwards... oh goodness. Then Friday's the big day. Saturday I've got back-to-back comedy shows of Chinese followed by English. Sunday will be the day I catch up on all the work I missed out on Friday/Saturday. Monday, I've got a long meeting with a client during the day, Tuesday will be my day of preparation for my gig in Macao. Wednesday I'm at Macao all day. Thursday I'm back in Hong Kong and opening for Paul Ogata at night. Friday is my MC performance. Saturday is finally my day of rest and relaxation..... Sunday my friend Ka Chun is probably going to come to pick up my old electronic drums and then we're back to Monday and well I don't want to look that far.

So like I said at the start of the year, bring it! And let me just add, I'd rather burn out than fade away. This is a lot lined up but I'm ready for it. Don't forget I cannot and will not neglect my freelance projects, too. So I need to keep myself in tip-top condition and energized to the max at all times and on that note, I think I'm going to go for a nice hot shower, get into bed and get some snooze. I'm honestly plain and simply exhausted. Help :\.