21 January 2008

Longest meeting ever!

It's 11:55pm so I'm technically still on time for this Day 10 entry, who knows what time I'll finish writing this post. I'm so tired now! Yikes! I still have a tonne of work to do before I can even think of sleeping let alone taking a break! I decided to get myself into the work mood, I'd start by going through all of my to-do widgets one by one and the first one (for today) was this Day 10 entry. I hate being late for my Day 10 entries because I know if I mess this up, a big part of me gets all lazy and just procrastinates away all my other things I need to get done. To be honest, these last few days have been hectic for me with high levels of stress. I'm starting to feel the strain of too many moving parts in my life again.

It's been around 3 weeks into the new year and 3 weeks ago I would have never guessed how many things would have happened in a measly 3 weeks! When I said Bring It! I was serous but I guess reality also heard it and threw everything in my direction! Yikes! But you know what, my mind is still in fighter-mode because I'm ready, bring it on. It's all mental more than anything else, I feel tired because I agree with myself that I'm tired. I feel lazy because I agree that I'm feeling lazy. When I disagree with myself, I find this new energy that lets me keep going. It's when my mind slacks off and says "OK, you've worked hard, you can be lazy today" that's when I start feeling tired and lazy. I guess the hardest part of it all is trying to find the line that divides your body telling you you're tired and your mind telling you you're tired. I'm still figuring out the difference because when my mind's tired, my body gets tired, but when my body's tired, all the energy in my mind is no use because I can't push myself to move and then my mind gets tired automatically. It's a vicious cycle.

I believe I can fly and I've said it before, it's not that we cannot fly. It's just that we haven't figured out a way to fly and all the facts and knowledge we have tell us that we cannot. I keep reminding myself this whenever everything is telling me that what I want to achieve is impossible. There's so much information and knowledge out there that I cannot easily conclude that something cannot be done. When I tell people the schedule I have this week, many people tell me I'm crazy, others tell me it's no big deal. Personally, I'm not worried but I'm worried. Like when I think about it, it seems overwhelming but when I look at it, I think I've been through worse than this.

It's all mental.

On that note, today's Day 10 entry is about the mental part of our lives. My mother read a paragraph from a book she's reading and it said something along the lines that we can only go as far as we think we can. In many times, growth only happens through failure. In weight-lifting, our muscles get stimulated to repair and grow the most after we break through the reps where we're almost failing. It is the last 2 reps that rewards can be reaped from, the first 10 reps were simply preparing us for the last 2 reps where we can achieve the results we want.

Growth and success can be achieved only if you break past the phase where failure is almost inevitable. It is when you push a little bit further that you did last time. It's when you walk out of your comfort zone and tread into the scary, deadly territory. This is where I feel like I am right now. I can feel my mind crying for help and telling me to slow down. I can sense my body screaming that I'm in the brink of the yellow zone and on my way into the red zone. But I can hear my heart say I can handle it. And as long as I believe in myself, I can do it and I'm going to do it. I can't wait to go through this week and tell you all about it in no later than 10 days and I'm looking forward to my next 6 months entry because boy has a lot changed :). You see that smiley face? That's me being proud of what I've achieved after all this time and effort.

Speaking of time and effort, I've set up my TD-12 drumset but I have yet to actually play it!! AAAHHH!!! I don't have time to play and I think it'll be a whole week before I'll get the chance to do so!

Also, as for the title, I had the longest meeting ever today, it was divided into 2 parts, the first half was 4 hours, the next half was 3 hours. And now I'm off to work :).

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light! :D

Edna St Vincent Millay

(totally you.)

25 January, 2008 05:00  
Blogger Vivek Mahbubani said...

Wow, lovely! :D

25 January, 2008 05:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I watched you canto skits and haha. Can't believe people mix you up with a gwai lo.

25 January, 2008 12:10  
Blogger the failing chemical engineer said...

haha, I guess I'm not the first person to comment on your cantonese. Wow your video on youtube has been popping all over the asian community here in the US. BEastly!

25 January, 2008 13:46  
Blogger Vivek Mahbubani said...

I love youtube, that's all I can say :)

04 February, 2008 03:38  

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